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Sassy Owl HQ

HQ - Her Quest

For mothers and teen daughters - from eye roll to deep connection.

Knowledge, actions, tools, and stories to create her unique life.

She needs you to help her understand what's happening, and show her how to to lighten up, think clearly, and make great choices.

Meet Yvette - Her Quest Mentor

Let's not pass on to our daughters lessons that can leave her feeling powerless, unfulfilled, sad, and sick.

Things you wish you'd known when you were a teenage girl and shit to unlearn so we don't pass it on to our daughters.

'In the absence of data, our mind makes up stories' Brene Brown

Free eBook - lessons to unlearn

'Girl competence does not equal girl confidence. Nor does it equal happiness, resilience, or self-worth'

Quoted from 'Enough As She Is' by Rachel Simmons.

So much effort has gone into telling our daughters that she can be anything. They have pressure to accomplish on every playing field. We're seeing a mental health crisis as girls try to be everything while also trying to maintain the old lessons of please others, don't stand out, don't fail, and place other's needs before yours.

Stories for teen girls to remember

You're not meant to have it all figured out. Life unfolds. It takes your whole life to really know yourself.
Relax. Do you. Find out who that is. Find what lights you up, calms you down, and ticks you off.
Your grades, your clothes size, your friendship group or your dating status have NOTHING to do with who you are or the woman you want to become.
There are dozens of roads to any destination and life is not a race won by the girl who gets there first, because we all have different definitions of 'there' and 'success'.
Life is not a competition. There is plenty. Plenty of time, plenty of fun to be had, plenty of new things to try, plenty of interesting people to meet, plenty of careers to try, plenty of lessons to learn, and plenty of capacity in your heart for it to break, mend and remain open.
Relax. Get curious. Be kind to yourself. Seek happiness and pleasure so you know what they mean to you and so that you can find it yourself - without expecting others to provide it for you.
You are loved. You belong. You are enough.

Loving, guiding, and supporting a teen daughter is rewarding, amazing, delightful, and,

... at times, frustrating, exhausting, and worrying.

Imagine how she feels.

Choices. Pressures. Pick your future. School results. Sport. Extra-curricular. Peer politics. Body changes. Romance. Puberty. Brain chemistry and rewiring. Fitting in. Standing out. Over thinking. Overcome.

This is your opportunity to show her tools and ask her questions that will help her create habits that will work for her throughout life.

You want your daughter to enjoy this time in her life. Feel free and light and excited to be a teenager and confident that she has the tools to achieve happiness, resilience and self-worth. This is a life's work. Start early. There is no one-and-done and there is a treasure chest of strategies.

That's what we do here.

My mission is to help parents and their teen daughters to live an unfaded life, full of colour, passion, creativity, love, laughter, and confidence. Lots of laughter. We all need to lighten our spirits. It just makes life easier and more lovely.

Girls who feel they are loved, belong, listened to, accepted and trusted make great life choices and are likely to take healthy risks.

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive: and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Maya Angelou

You want so much for your daughter

You want your daughter to

navigate life confidently
make deep loving connections with friends, family and a romantic partner
feel lit up about life
live passionately, pleasurably and completely
know how to tap into herself and look after herself lovingly and kindly
have the emotional strength to be in difficult times – and move through them rather than avoid them out of fear.

*When I say daughter – that can mean many things. For some of us it is birth daughter. For others it’s a niece, a daughter by choice (my mum had a few of these when my girlfriend’s mums were less generous with their wisdom or less available emotionally).

Sons need similar tools, but that’s not my story to tell and others will do that much better.

Original Art by Bec Mennen

Sassy Owl - here's how we roll

Girls do not need to be tamed or trained to be 'good', 'people pleasing', and self-sacrificing women. I'm not your woman if this feels uncomfortable. This is a place to support powerful, joyful, loving, free women who make great choices... and care for themselves so they can care for others.

You want your daughter to create a life and a loving relationship that respects her right to be happy and fulfilled. This is where it happens.

Some of the most important lessons -

Life has rules. Some she won't like. That's life. There are rules on the road, in business, in schools and in homes.
She can do hard things. Let her. Support her IF she falls. She needs you to be her safe place - don't fight battles she can sort herself. Let her win and lose some. Build her ability to get back up.
It's more important that she discovers herself, than it is that she please you. She needs you to listen, accept and support her. She's very likely to surprise you.
Everything is 'figuroutable'. Help her identify what's real and what's a 'story'. Her brain will self-protect in very counterproductive ways. Thoughts are not truth. Begin with the belief she can work it out (and you'll help).
You can feel all the feelings. You won't die. In fact, you can choose how you feel, with the right tools.
Sometimes the best thing to do is play tunes and dance like a lunatic.
First feel good. Every day. Do things that make you feel great and make that a non-negotiable part of your wellness. We make better choices when we feel good.

Parenting a teen daughter can be ROUGH. What are you doing to look after you? We do a bit of that too 🙂

To the outside world, I’ve always had it all together. Confident. Capable. Clever. Happy. Loving family. In reality for most of my adult life I felt like a fraud, lost, often sad and always like I was supposed to be ‘doing’ something else.

Fortunately, the loving family part is unwavering.

I spiralled down, all the while looking like I had it under control (boy that phrase is dangerous).

Burnout.

And still it’s taken me nearly 10 years of further work to understand I did this to myself.

I don’t want my daughter to learn through experience like this. My daughter and I are your guinea pigs. We practice the tools as I research and learn. She is open and interested and I’m so proud of her discernment. She makes great choices... most of the time. She is a red head, full of fury and power so sometimes it's interesting. Wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm a ‘work in progress’ loving mentor, trusted Aunt or mischief instigator (depends on the day and the mood).

I read, attend classes, teach, and listen to collect useful research findings, tools, and lessons to pass on.

I only share what we've found the most useful.

If you want to:

// Help your daughter create her own future, identify and embrace her unique strengths and interests.

// Access training, workshops and tools to try, without doing the life time of research we've undertaken.

// Understand what is happening in your daughter's mind/thoughts, feelings and body. How these are deeply related and why they impact her choices and actions.

AND you're looking for a facilitator (that's me) who is curious, lovingly honest, irreverant, mischievious, supportive, and in there learning with you.

You're in the right place.

Are we a good fit?

Download the free PDF checklist to see if we're likely to be a good fit. No signup required. Just click the button and it will appear like magic.

I'm not into wasting time. The checklist will allow you to identify if you're likely to benefit from Sassy Owl HQ's work. Easy.

Checklist - do we fit?

Here's how we can work together.

Free - Sassy Wisdom

Things you wish you had understood as a teenage girl...

and shit to unlearn before we accidently pass it on.

You are her role model of how to be a woman - even if it feels like others have taken your place. She needs you - even if she doesn't show it much of the time.

Free Sassy Wisdom eBook - Yes please

Want to talk about something - got something you want me to research or offer some thoughts?